It's Been 40 years since.....

This is a Special Day for me. November 20, 1979. 

This is what my story consists of, It's not really pretty or pleasant in the beginning. 

You can skip to the *** if you prefer.



If you want to know how I started, this is me:


What was it like in 1979?

Muscle Cars, Mechanics who loved to keep their cars clean and running smoothly for races and 'cruising' on Ave. E in San Bernardino, CA. 

TV was a past-time that you had for entertainment and you had to walk to the TV to change the channel. You may have had 5 channels, ABC, CBS... I forget the call signs of others. When you and your brother fought over what show was next. There were no recording devices to 'watch it later'... Such a simple life.

I remember my little brother and I were alone a lot, too much, and we played outside for fun. We didn't need to be told to go outside. Our lives were spent exploring the hills around us, shoveling out a 'pool' to soak in, motorcycle riding, bike riding, horse riding.

I probably worked at A&W at that time with Steve D. and had a great time working and listening to Queen, Cheap Trick, Ted Nugent, Boston. I love music and dancing and remember we would turn up the music on the 'Juke Box' after the 'closed sign' was up, we could overrun the 'pay a quarter' slot. 
Good times with lot's of laughter- to hide the depression and feelings of not fitting in. I had no direction and college was not for me, I am a 'hands-on learner' (kinesthetic learner), so memorizing facts and figures was not easy for me. It was really HARD for me, I couldn't finish it, so I 'quit'. I didn't understand the whole 'drop or withdrawal' idea, so I have a record.... I think it's funny, but it is not really funny. Your choices stay with you in one way or another. 

I was dating Ron H, and was taking 'Auto Shop' in Night School at RHS. I know I had a class that night and yet NEEDED to talk to the Young Adults pastor's wife. I needed to figure out some things about life. My need for Truth had been a work of the Holy Spirit since August.

The church youth group went camping (Hume Lake?) and I was convicted heavily about my relationship with God. I knew I needed God and a Savior- Jesus. 

I knew as a child Jesus was God, but He was not part of my personal life or daily interactions. I was a wreck at 18. I had tried to die, had found love in immoral places as a younger teen, hated myself and thought I was stupid. I was so insecure and needy that I didn't know how to think well of myself. 

My mind was not firm nor secure in love. I felt no love from my family, because of a trauma in 1972. I am a 'spend time with me' sort of person, so I was missing out on that love. 


***
I don't remember how she got to the question, but she asked me after a bit, 'Would you like to invite Jesus into your heart?'. I guess I didn't reply, I think I was in a spiritual 'fog' so she asked again and again. How I praise God for her asking 3x. I tremble to think what I would have missed out on - at least for a time. I am meant to be God's child, so I would have been Adopted sooner or later :) The 'fog' was a spiritual dimension that some have and some don't, I had been exposed to 'satanic' teachings so I was definitely in a 'fog'.

I am glad it was sooner that I felt God's love, the first 18 years were sad and lonely.

My life was magically transformed, I was loved, I was secure in myself I was ...NOT transformed at least in my mind. My soul was renewed, a rebirth. Not my mind and the lies I had been believing. 

My growth and mental re-programming has been a long, arduous journey.  I have battled family lies and pagan ideas. I had to overcome many evil mindsets and by God's grace, I am still working on that, it's much easier now 40 years later. 

No one can know the peace I have now, the Peace of God to help me overcome the hurt and pain of my youth, and my adult years. 

Mine is a story of grace, for the long haul. I thank God for His patience and Agape Love. It is unconditional, pure and patient. 

What a person thinks, feels, believes, has taught to them by actions or words doesn't 'magically' go away when we become believers in Jesus Christ, Yeshua Hamashia. We have to let God renew and rebuild our minds in the Grace of God. I pray you can do the hard work of submitting to God, to remove any lies. To begin living Truth in the power of the Holy Spirit. 

Christ and His sacrifice are our foundation. If you call yourself by any other name but Christian, please be sure to put Jesus first and accept His sacrifice to pay for your sins. We are not equal to God, so our 'works' are inferior and not able to 'pay the way' to heaven. Only Jesus, who is Elohim can do this. He is God, He is our Sacrifice, He is our Lord, He is our Savior. He is my friend. 

Happy 40th Birthday in Christ, to me. 



1 Cor 3:14-15
Phil. 2:10-11
Romans. 12:1-2


If you need to talk about God and how to be His Child, just reach out. He loves you and wants to save you from eternal damnation. Jesus is Lord and Savior. I pray you Trust Him.